.Good.Bye.

I realized something that I should have realized a long time ago. I realized that I always try not to see and talk to someone I love and I care about, my friends or families, when I am about to loose them. Because I don't want to look at their sad faces, and I don't want them to look at my sad face. And I realized that I should not do that, I should spend more time with them, I should always see them and talk to them. One more thing I realized, when I miss someone so much, and then finally I get to see that someone, I will talk to that person less that I usually do. Someone told me once; "Joe, you don't know when will you loose someone you really love. And until that moment, value that person. When the time comes when he/she is leaving you for real, before he or she goes away, 'kiss' him or her a very special good bye, go make fun of him/her, go do stupid things with that person and cry in front of him/her. Let her/him know that you really love her/him and that you are really happy to have a good friend like him/her. Because the one that person really wants to be with before he/she goes, is you"...something like that...

Here are two stories of mine, about friends, who I recently remember:

I had a best friend when I was in elementary school. We were like brothers, we were so closed, almost everytime together. We got into the same high school, we went to school together, we studied together, we played together, almost everything we did together. But, the next year, I had to move to another city. I couldn't see him again, for years. I was so sad, I don't want to loose my best friend. A few weeks before I moved, I decided not to see him, I didn't want to say good bye. I hate good bye. I didn't want to cry in front of him, I didn't want to look at his sad face seeing me leaving. I didn't talk to him for days, maybe even for weeks. I know he felt that there was something wrong about me, he realized I tried to avoid him; I tried to avoid looking at him, I tried to avoid talking to him, I tried to avoid seeing him. I turned to the other way when we bumped into each other during recess. And then, I moved away, without seeing him for the very last time. And to make things worse, he was the last person who knew I was going to move.

When I was in PLKN, I have a very close friend. We were in the same company; Bravo Company. One day we had a briefing and everyone had to gather in a room, a small room. There were so many people. I didn't know where to sit. I just sat randomly. There were some guys around me and he was the first one who talked to me, and he talked like we had knew each other for a long time. And since then we became very closed friends. A few days before the last day of service, I started feeling something weird, I don't know; maybe I was happy because finally I can go home... Or maybe I was sad because I'm going to leave my friends. I started avoiding him; I tried not to see him, I gave excuses when he asked me to join him doing whatever, I turned my voice down and looked away whenever I had to talk to him. And he realized it, he realized that I tried to avoid him, he knew I changed. One day; two or three days before the last night of PLKN, he asked me to go hanging out. But I refused, he got mad at me; he asked why I avoided talking to him. We quarrelled for a little bit. Now, I lost contact with him, I don't know where he is now.

These stories sound gay, maybe..haha..

If I could say "Please don't go, because when you are here, I'm not lonely anymore", I will... But I can't... We get what we want, but we also loose what we got... until the time we lost something or someone we really love and we really care, we should value them and make them happy.